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1.
Toxicology 03:14
We were at the Doll Hut I overheard her talking something about mixing Paxil and Vodka She had a strange reaction she bit some of her cousins she tried to bite her sister she got socked in the kisser - Let's go! Heath should have kept a Ledger It would of worked out better Certain things are toxic When you're mixing them together Xanax, Valium, Ativan Lunesta Together with Restoril You get a Cardiac Dysrhythmia-Let's go! Vodka, Norco, Paxil (Surf's up dude) Buspar, Prozac, Soma (Surfs up dude) Ritalin, Kenalog, Coma Daniel flew into see his brand new baby sister He should of been admitted, instead he was a visitor Toxicology report, it read just like a time bomb Methadone, Zoloft, together with Lexapro-Let's Go! Oxy, Propecia, Xanax Cocaine, Pristiq, Fentanyl, Rogaine, Cialis, Viagra Hey Hey (Surf's up dude) Hey Hey (Surf's up dude) Surfs. Up. Dude.
2.
Stoke the fire, fill the cup We're disabled, like an old pickup truck It's official, time has come House your children on the sun I only look I only look I only look stupid Rest assured they will not rest until the fables get undressed Artifacts that dance around Psychotropics in the dirt on the ground I only look I only look I only look stupid Your house, it's lovely Built on sand and Gatsby Kiss the captain on the lips Press your hands into his hips Feel your conscience slip away Whistle a tune then just walk away I only look I only look I only look stupid
3.
Charlie, Charles, thank you for the snarls of the kites that would not fly. I laughed a lot Sparky, Charles, thank you for the quarrels of the kids you drew each night, I learned a lot I remember lying in my bed and in my room Sweeping through the pages like a plastic dollar broom Peanut butter sandwich for the barber's only son Lunch is such a lonely time of day Baseball becomes theology The sermon on the mound during a game Could this be the new seventh inning stretch? Five cents for psychiatry A nickel in the can and you will see it's a great big world, just live in it I remember lying in my bed and in my room Surveying the landscape like the first man on the moon Men are born to trouble sure as sparks go upward For wisdom you went right to the source When I was young I had a blanket and sucked on my thumb Now that I'm grown I am aware of my tongue Not much has changed I'll bet that Marcy's favorite movie must surely be the one called "To Sir With Love" The stoning of Stephen, a profile of Eakins can clearly be made out in the clouds above Now every dark and stormy night I take a Sopwith Camel flight Landing in a place where I am free from my own plight Stuck in a universe with my own Red Barons that I curse Sparky we never met...But you knew me
4.
Miami 04:04
We fell in love in Miami They called us Crockett and Tubbs Because you're a lying sociopath And I eat way too much At night we'd stay in our cabana Eating shellfish by the pound But we're both highly allergic (I'm allergic to shellfish my darling. My lips swell for you) Miami Miami Miami Miami Miami, my God Miami Miami Miami When did you go to the dogs The Miami Sound Machine (I love that group) had just crashed their tour bus (What a disaster) We stole all of their Vicodin (Because they've got more money than us) (Lo siento mi vida. Your skin is so soft and creamy. And your lips, like Rubies, my darling. And your face like Pebble Beach at low tide) My vices became my addictions Miami Miami, my God Myopia caused my afflictions When did I go to the dogs Miami Miami Miami Miami my head starts to throb Miami my big double whammy I worship the porcelain God
5.
Up on the pier there's a party going on But not as good as the one on the shore Kids lined up from miles around to do this crazy dance that's just come down Shove up your lip, stick out your tongue and do the Wombat Wombats live in a hole in the ground They are nocturnal, at night they buzz around Looking for grass and shrubs and roots One bit through my jeans and my leather boots I looked at him, He looked at me We did the Wombat (Wombats love to dance) Do the Wombat It aint the Twist or no Achy Breaky Heart It's not the Macarena (Please, don't even start) If your bipolar and if you're depressed The Wombat will ease all of your unrest Spreading disease, do what you please It's called the Wombat Never confuse a badger with a wombat Never confuse a badger with a wombat Never confuse a badger with a wombat Never confuse the badger!
6.
My house is in foreclosure My wife moved to her mother's Kids are in the rehab And my face keeps getting fatter But I can find refuge in Dionne Warwick's music Yes I can find comfort in Dionne Warwick's music, every time (Now I know the way to San Jose) And my country is immoral Bank account is empty 60 million dead babies And they won't refill my Paxil But I can find comfort in our elected officials Yes I can rest assured in our elected officials every time (I'll just stay at home election day) Do we need to give gold statues to the actors in the movies? And social security has been stolen by the paparazzi And I can see things clearly through Lisa Loeb's glasses And I feel so empowered When I take night classes at the junior college (If I can find a job and not be turned away)
7.
I'm old my heart is shaken Alone my mind is achin' Fear keeps us all tied down to our chairs In a bank of papers Ignore the subtle capers with dreams of some kind of injury I hope I get for breakfast the rest of the intestines cuz Alice it's my turn today It's insignificant fear But I'll never look in the mirror let's take the carpal tunnel out of here I don't really wanna stay but I just never walked away oh, why? Well I can't give my notice to an empty room and I can't make you notice Like a child that keeps searching for his lost balloon Well I can't make you notice I don't really wanna stay but I just never walk away oh, why? There was a time I could see in my mind Now I hope that it just goes away There was a time I could count on my mind But patchy memories just fade away
8.
She's here, she's there, she's everywhere except the place that she's supposed to be She's like a train, a plane, that's gaining speed and heading miles and miles away from me Her lights are on but there's no one at home And all her calls keep dropping when I telephone She's on a sunset cruise that's leaving me bruised inside She's all over the map She's got a first class one way non stop ticket to ride She's all over the map She's so intense, my sense of geography, is kinda looking like a Twister game But I'm her fool, her tools of cartography are only gonna chart a course to my shame Without a navigator, my attitude is lost My longitude and her latitude will never cross We’re on a third rate, blind date, upon the seas of love and hate She's all over the map I'm like Magellan with Helen Keller as my second mate She's all over the map I've been calling out to satellites, from a sinking vessel in distress But there's no blip on my radar screen and nothing on my GPS
9.
It's good that I love you cuz right now i'm the only one It's good I know what's best for you because you are still my son With every tablet that you take and every lie that you tell I have to turn away cuz watching your life is like looking into hell But I'll hold your life until the time Because you're not the only user on my mind I watched you as a boy and I felt your pain I picked out your wife for you and I wept when she went away Well I can use you but not like you used those you deceived Let's turn your transgressions into some kind of a reprieve And I'll hold your life until the time you can give hope to the hopeless one last time Young girls, soldiers and businessmen All the addicts come together and you can hold their hand My son Your soul was spared you've got a clean and a brand new start 'cuz my mercy is endless and it lives now in your heart So wipe away your tears because there's lots of work to do Stand up and tell the story as only you can do You lost your job, you lost your wife you even lost your mind Z-man is dead now, but Todd is fine and you are mine Z-man is dead, Z-man is dead But Todd is fine
10.
Well I saw my baby on the bus today And she piled up my hair with Hawley's Pomade Well she's the coolest chick I know And she looks just like a young Jane Russell She's my rockabilly robot Well I'm her woman and she's my man and she couldn't care less that I'm getting fat We dance to Deke Dickerson every night and we never argue, fuss or fight She's my rockabilly robot Well her friends all say "why are you with him?" but I keep her gears oiled with Pabst Blue Ribbon You see I captured her, she's my cassette I built a rockabilly robot and it's a secret She's my rockabilly robot
11.
2 O'clock and the bars are closed Streets are empty, I'm all alone Seems another day has come and gone I get dressed up just to fall down Punch a stranger or dance around Seems my life has come undone I'm not saying this to bust your chops I'm glad that your here with me I'm not saying this to bum you out But maybe life should have more meaning 10 AM and my eyes are shut cuz I don't know where I am or where I've been (or where i'm going) Don't think I would live like this if my folks were still living Seems i've lost my way since they're gone I'm not saying this to drag you down I'm glad that you're still with me I'm not saying this is all your fault But maybe there's something that's... Better get back to the way I was When I was a young child of God before it's too late and I'm gone I'm not saying this because I'm strong Lord knows that I am very weak I think that if we do this together there's still time to choose our destiny
12.
Moses said to Ramses, "Hey man, won't you let my people go?" Well the Pharaoh sat in silence, thought it over for a moment and shot back with a resounding "No no no! Who's gonna build these pyramids, put the nose on my sphinx? My precarious predicament stinks! These stone Gods and monoliths are crumbling all around me. I can't seem to lift off this jinx." Well, Moses stood there quietly, cracked a smile then he started to laugh (what a gas) "Well your problem is apparent, son, but you ain't gonna find it as long as you keep chasing after golden calves King Tut and Nefertiti left out important graffiti on the mausoleums where they sleep But their lofty hieroglyphics ain't gonna give you specifics D'Nile is a river so deep D'Nile keeps a rolling on endlessly through a burning desert, deep and wide And only when it dries up can you see that oasis on the other side So give it up, give it out, fill your cup, spill your doubt Or the Asp of Cleopatra's gonna stare right back atcha! D'Nile is a river so deep No, no mummified remains are gonna give you any brains Can't tell you nothing useful in their sleep And their lofty hieroglyphics ain't gonna give you specifics D'Nile is a river so deep, yes it is D'Nile is a river so deep and it's getting deeper D'Nile is a river Well I'm not talking Hosni Mubarak D'Nile I'm talking Charlie Sheen D'Nile He's Still Winning
13.
I mow the lawn with my church socks on cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD I don't drop acid but my stomach's full of acid cuz I'm UGLY FAT AND OLD My stomach bounces when I brush my teeth cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD I leer at girls and I talk to squirrels cuz I'm UGLY FAT AND OLD It's my intention to build an invention to make me virile again Binging and purging, I feel myself thinning I fit in my trousers again Pull my finger and i'll break some wind cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD Hey, you kids, get off of my lawn cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD My lower back is killing me cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD I need to speak to your supervisor UGLY FAT AND OLD 
It's my intention to find a young vixen that I can confuse and deceive Our kiss in the moonlight was perfect until she swallowed my false teeth I clean out my ears with my car keys cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD I talk about my prostate while I float in the jacuzzi cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD I don't smell like I used to smell cuz i'm UGLY FAT AND OLD I don't care what all of you say cuz I'm UGLY FAT AND OLD
14.
Now when I was born, Dad said to me son you must never fear Things people say, things that they do, things that they never hear They can be so unkind, they can poison your mind Someday you might end up like me All of his plans, all of his schemes, meant to enlighten me Searching for storms and weather balloons, That never frightened me Till he took to the air on a wing and a prayer and he told the whole world it was me Over the hills and trees, Oh tell me, please this gust of wind won't disappear Further with every mile and all the while I can see my house from here See them down there running around like their ant hill was just kicked in The media scurry like rats through the town in a race they will never win But up here I'm free, no one can get to me unless these old rafters cave in Then everyone will see Oh please tell me that gravity won't interfere Above this garage floor and through the door I can see my house from here Mom starts to scream, Dad starts to shout How long will it take till they both figure out? I'm through with this game I don't want to play Please let this stupid balloon drift away Just lift me up, off of the ground Spin like a big floating merry-go- round Flashing red lights following me Sirens that seem like a calliope Now copters and cameras and satellites beam the images over an internet stream They told the authorities I was up there till it gently touched down without moments to spare I don't want to be on TV I don't want Wolf Blitzer to interview me The story was flimsy and not very clear I was in the garage, I see my house from here
15.
Well I remember the first time I saw you in the mall eating an apple and reading a book Then I took you to Romancing The Stone and out for food And you tripped on the curb at the steakhouse but I caught you But I knew we were meant to be when you spent your whole Saturday sitting in traffic school just to be with me You're the girl from my hometown You're the girl from my hometown You're the one who never let me down Turned my life around Well I remember the day I married you And you walked right up to me and said "I do" But I was quite naive and you followed my lead and we learned every lesson the hard way But you're the girl from my hometown You're the girl from my hometown You're the one who never let me down turned my life around Yeah, you're the girl from my hometown I would act a fool trying to be cool I even went back to school for the girl from my hometown The other day I saw you crying in the kitchen cuz right now money's so tight and the world won't listen But there's a place we'll go if only in our minds Back to the simple days when we fell in love With the girl from my hometown You're the girl from my hometown You're the one who never let me down Turned my life around (You're the one) I keep dreaming of (From my hometown) The only one I love (You're the one) who never lets me down Turned my life upside down
16.
When summer is gone Spend all my days wandering on PCH When summer is gone Spend all my time finding no reasons to my rhyme I don't wanna spend my whole life wandering aimlessly I don't wanna spend any many more time pondering shamelessly When summer is over September, October As dark as November, as cold as December When summer is over The color of Autumn delivers a sober reminder that no one lives too long Good Vibrations starts to play But Brian Wilson's lost his way When summer is gone Combing the beach, my misspent youth out of reach When summer is gone My castles of sand, swept by the ocean's hand I don't wanna spend my whole life lost in a moment I don't wanna waste anymore time seeking atonement When summer is over everyone is older No laughter at Mother's (Bar) and sunset is colder When summer is over the color of autumn delivers a sober reminder that no one lives too long Sweet Sensation starts to play but UB40's gone away All of my nights, all of my days All of these fights, my unbending ways Did I lose sight through this blinding malaise of what's really inside of this maze called my soul It will live on when summer is gone
17.
We're gonna get drunk tonight We're gonna drink and drive We're gonna get drunk tonight Tonight it's girls gone wild She ends up having a child Not sure who the baby's daddy is Drinking down the interstate He hopes he's driving straight The only straight is straight to jail We're gonna get drunk tonight We're gonna drink and drive We're gonna get drunk tonight At the office party She's drinking lots of Bacardi She calls her boss the "N" word Flying through an intersection No seat belt around his mid section He slams into a police car We're gonna get drunk tonight We're gonna drink and drive We're gonna get drunk tonight Drink up! And the only light that's in my life is the one that's shining in my eyes And the nurse said, "did you hear what this one did? He killed the parents and he killed the kids" I wanna die, why did they die? I hope I die We're gonna get drunk tonight We're gonna drink and drive We're gonna get drunk tonight Get yourself a cab, or hop on a city bus Or lie down on the curb and sleep Fall down in a bush, or pass out in a club Or jog into a place until it's dawn We're gonna get drunk tonight We're gonna drink and drive We're gonna get drunk tonight
18.
Possessions I receive, they just leave me empty so I always come back to you when I fall asleep at night it's on you that I rely cuz it always comes back to you you are so lovely, you treat me justly please keep me in your heart when I'm drowning in your sea your arms reach down and rescue me so I always depend on you There's a place we can go with no crying or pain for no evil can dwell before the presence of God He shall wipe away all of the tears from our eyes and he shall be with us and the former things will pass away and we shall understand and be in our true home again 
You are so holy, I'm unholy can you forgive me? then I dream my fitful dreams until your soft breeze awakens me and it always reminds me of you yes it always comes back to you

about

Produced by Rob Perez

Recorded at Secret Ninja Studios (Westminster, CA), Bomb Shelter Rehearsal Studio (Westminster, CA), Todd's home studio, Miguel's project studio and Rob's spare bedroom.

Produced by Rob (with lots of help from Bert, Adam and Ryan). Engineered and mixed by Ryan Hafer and Rob Perez. Additional Engineering by Adam Hankinson, Miguel, Todd Forman, Jesse Lloyd and Mike McCann
Inner sleeve photos by Jason O'Donnell, James Hyrcyk
Additional photos: Victor Hernandez, Janelle Asti (thanks).

Executive Producers: Bud Gaugh, Nicole Gaugh ,Zachary Goodin

Bert exclusively uses Layrite Pomade (regular hold) for his pompadour.

This recording ©2012 Bert Susanka & The Astronaut Love Triangle, Waitress Records, Half of Nothing Records.

All songs BMI ©2012 Bert Susanka, Rob Perez, Adam Hankinson, Jason O’Donnell. All Rights Reserved

www.bsandalt.com
www.halfofnothingrecords.com

credits

released June 5, 2012

Thank you: Bud and Nicole Gaugh, Zippy, Miguel, Sexrat, Del Mar, Zen Robbi, Indosurf, Todd Forman, Leslie Beauvais, Jeff & Ryella Linder, Ted & Amy Berkey, Alan Hankinson, Grateful Dave Esqueda, DiPiazza's, Jon Burk for inspiring “She’s All Over The Map”, Chuck Burnes, The Gypsy Lounge (RIP), Fishlips (RIP), The Doll Hut, Radio Free Bakersfield, The Pier, all at Secret Ninja, all at Bomb Shelter.

Without Whom: Ryan Hafer (this record would have not seen the light of day without your help).

For the thumbs up on “I Am Aware Of My Tongue”: Jill and Aaron Transki, Craig Schulz, Jeannie Schulz, Tom & Jennifer Everhart.

BS & ALT would like to officially acknowledge the generous humanitarian efforts of Derek Jensen, Stacy Jensen, Clint Unclecc Hogland and Kimberly Atkinson Hogland in the making of this CD.

Bert thanks:
Todd Zalkins (Author of "Dying For Triplicate"), Michael "Miguel" Happholdt, Bud & Nicole, Eric Wilson, Rome Ramirez, Mic Dangerously, Todd Forman, Zachary "Zippy" Goodin, Bradley Nowell, Susan Susanka, Paul Susanka, Eric Susanka, Ryan Susanka, Jacob Susanka, The Ziggens, Josh Fischel, Mark DiPiazza, Ryan Hafer and, as always, the great Rob Perez.

Adam thanks:
Rob, Jason, Bert & Ryan Hafer. Thanks to everyone involved in this project, credited or not. Many thanks to my best friend and amazing wife, Shannon, for all of her love and support. For Thomas & Lucy; Look, your Old Man did something cool!

Jason thanks:
My Parents for their never ending support, Amanda, Steven and little Benjamin for always inspiring me, and my friends for always pushing me. Thanks to Bert, Rob, and Adam for the chance to play drums.  And a huge thank you to my wife & best friend Kim, for always believing in me. Dedicated to Ana Faley & David Malinski.

Rob thanks:
Adam, for taking the lead when we needed it (i.e. arrangements on Tracks 4, 8, 9, & 15), Jay, for being patient, and Bert for always getting my back. Chuck Burnes, Lisa Heath, Jeff Tucker, Julie & Dave Owens, Devin Devore, Victor Hernandez, Scott Graham, Gary Fitch, Dave Rayburn, Mudd Lowther. Love to Susan, family and friends, Dedicated to Mom, Sandy Graham, Donald Tracy Flournoy, Karen Walia and Shelby. R.I.P.

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Bert Susanka & The Astronaut Love Triangle Huntington Beach, California

The Astronaut Love Triangle are...

Bert Susanka- Lead Vocal, Guitar
Rob Perez- Guitars and other stringed gadgets, Keyboards (occassionally), Vocals
Adam Hankinson-Bass, Vocals
Jason O'Donnell-Drums and percussion

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